On May 15, 2013 I dove head first into the darkest and most beautiful journey of my life. I experienced a pain no words could describe but was surrounded by a sunshine brighter than any I had ever seen. On May 15, 2013 I became a Mom. I gave birth to our first greatest creation and in that moment I saw Jesus first hand. Though my introduction into motherhood was much different than many others, it is an adventure I would never change.
My first Mother’s Day I celebrated with the miracle of life kicking inside me. My second Mother’s Day I experienced the same joy balanced with an immense grief that my first born was safe in my heart and not in my arms. This Mother’s Day, my third, I am experiencing an incredible first, a Mother’s Day with my son in my arms.
My boys have taught me so much. In two years I have learned love, faith, patience, the true meaning of a village, the need to never stop showing up and the importance of his legacy. I’m learning how to grieve, how to get back up and how to ask for help. I’ve learned you don’t always have to be strong because there’s so many around us that can be strong for us. I’ve learned that being an adult is overrated and if I listened to my mom I would have waited. I’ve learned that being a wife, a mother… just being alive is hard but every second is worth it. I’ve learned that our children look up to us and we must never take that responsibility for granted.
Maya Angelou said, “Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away.” My breath was taken away the first time I saw the pregnancy test that said I was a Mom! My breath was taken away the first time I heard his heart beat on the ultrasound machine. My breath was taken away when I breathed for him as he came into this world. My breath was taken away the day he learned to breathe. My breath was taken away when he laid in my arms and together we took his last breath. My breath was taken away the day I was being blessed with a second boy to call me Mom. My breath was taken away the first time I held our tiny healthy miracle in my arms. My breath was taken away with each new milestone met. My breath is taken away each time the wind blows and Owen gives me sweet kisses as he flies by. My breath has been taken away each day since I became a Mom.
Happy Mother’s Day to each and every one of you! No matter how you became a Mom, today is all about you! Thank you for your heart. Thank you for each time your breath was taken away. I celebrate you and pause to honor you today. My heart aches for each of you who have never held your child, for each of you that long to see a positive pregnancy test, for each of you who have had to say goodbye to your greatest gift. Today I mourn with you! Even more than that today, I also rejoice that you are Moms! Your baby gave you the greatest gift and your child made you the incredible woman you are! Today is our day!