18 months without Owen

It’s been 18 months since we said good by to Owen. Some days it feels like it was just yesterday, other days it feels like a lifetime. We see him daily in so many ways; beautiful sunrises, majestic sunsets, tiny yellow butterflies, courageous lions, our second son’s smile, and many more… We are thankful for these visits but long for him to be in our arms.

Until then, we hold on tight to the blessings we have been given in sweet Brody. They have a bond that is evident in each random giggle, babbles to the Heavens, and in his crystal blue eyes… They have an invisible string that connects them for eternity. Brody will forever look up to his incredible big brother and we know he will always be looking down and watching over him.

My dearest Owen,

18 months ago I held you in my arms for the last time. I spent the day studying the sound of your tiny beating heart, memorized the sound of your breathing, and savored every sweet sound you made as you cooed up at me. 18 months ago I kissed you for the last time from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. I took in every curve of your perfect body and got lost in your deep blue eyes. I curled your soft blonde hair in my fingers and breathed in your perfect baby smell. 18 months ago I said good bye, I said the words that I never wanted to say but desperately knew you needed to hear.

You have blessed my life more than you will ever know, sweet boy. Thank you for the things that you have taught me. Thank you for each and every way you show up each and every day. Thank you for watching over your brother and being with him in everything he does. Thank you for making me a Mom. Thank you for teaching us kindness, patience and a love deeper than words can explain. Thank you for reminding us not to take anything for granted. Each day… Each breath is a blessing and I owe each one to you.

This life here on earth is but a blink my, dear son and I can’t wait for the moment you are back in my arms. Until then I will meet you each night in my dreams and hold you safe in my heart.

I love you my precious, perfect, first born son. You are my everything. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.