Two Years without Owen

Tomorrow will be two years since we said goodbye to Owen. Two years since we held onto him tightly as his soul left his body. I will never forget his adoring father and I whispering in his ear, “It’s okay to go. Mommy and Daddy will always love you. It’s okay to go.” While I struggled to say those words and was not truly ready, it was our job as his parents. We were being asked to do the hardest, most selfless thing and we could not let our son down. Deep in my heart, I knew the Lord was waiting for him with open arms, he would soon be healed and be free of all this pain. His heart would finally be well and he would be safe.

Thank you for making the 2nd Annual Blood Drive a Huge Success

There are no words to express my gratitude for everyone that made Owen’s 2nd Birthday Blood Drive possible. It was an incredible day and I know Owen was smiling down on all of us and so proud of the way we honored him and are keeping him alive. It’s hard to explain what it feels like to have a party for your child and not have them there. But looking around I saw him everywhere. In the hummingbird that joined us for lunch, the yellow butterfly that followed me through the doors and the smile on each life saver’s face as they spent their Sunday paying it forward in honor of our amazing 2 year old.

Happy 2nd Birthday Owen

Two years ago today Owen quietly entered the world, 16 weeks later he left as silently as he came. Though he never said a word his roar was heard round the world and inspired people to pay it forward in his name. 5,000 books have been collected, hundreds of people have become organ donors, and this Sunday we’ll become lifesavers for the 2nd time as we join together to save lives through blood donation. CLICK HERE to learn how you can become a Life Saver! Happy 2nd Birthday Owen!

Happy Mother’s Day!

On May 15, 2013 I dove head first into the darkest and most beautiful journey of my life. I experienced a pain no words could describe but was surrounded by a sunshine brighter than any I had ever seen. On May 15, 2013 I became a Mom. I gave birth to our first greatest creation and in that moment I saw Jesus first hand. Though my introduction into motherhood was much different than many others, it is an adventure I would never change.

An unwanted guest with muddy shoes

On September 4, 2013, our son died. I held his lifeless body in my hands and said, “good-bye” for the last time. I wept. I sobbed. I screamed. I then became empty. I felt like I was in a dream… no a nightmare. Life went on. People moved on. Everyone kept living, moving, just being. For some time I did not know how. I did not know how to go back to life before Owen. I did not know who I was before Owen. I did not know who to be, period. The truth is there will never be life before Owen. Owen changed me. He changed me in a huge way and each day I am discovering more and more how he changed me. I am discovering who I am in this new different every day. Some days I like who I am. The mom, the wife, the employee, the daughter, the friend, and the positive woman that believes that last “good-bye” was really a see you later. Other times I hate who I am. The impatient, frustrated, sad, angry, hopeless, broken woman who believes he is gone forever.

18 months without Owen

It’s been 18 months since we said good-by to Owen. Some days it feels like it was just yesterday, other days it feels like a lifetime. We see him daily in so many ways; beautiful sunrises, majestic sunsets, tiny yellow butterflies, courageous lions, our second son’s smile, and many more… We are thankful for these visits but long for him to be in our arms.