A Word So I Can Say How I Am Feeling

It’s been Two Weeks or Fourteen Days or Three Hundred Thirty Six Hours or Twenty Thousand One Hundred Sixty Minutes or One Million Two Hundred Nine Thousand and Six Hundred Seconds since our precious Lion Heart left this earth to be with the King! When you live life a second at a time it feels like eternity. But, when we live life a second at a time we have One Million Two Hundred Nine Thousand and Six Hundred opportunities to see Owen all around us. I have seen him in the most magical places that I would otherwise have missed. Pinwheels in the garden of a destroyed and abandoned home, hearts carved into a second story porch with an address of 505, and the sun in the form of a bright shining O breaking through the trees as it joins me for my morning coffee. He is all around us and we are so thankful to God for allowing us each second to be with him. I yearn for the smell of his hair, the touch of his sweet soft skin and the sound of his voice but find joy and comfort that when this blink of life here on earth is through we have eternity to enjoy each one of those things with him. As my husband says, we are One Million Two Hundred Nine Thousand and Six Hundred Seconds closer to seeing him again!

As I write this, I think of the “cyber vacation” I vowed that I was going on. But let’s face it; I am terrible at going on any type of electronic fasting. While I think it is healthy for everyone to do at some point, I am grieving and I heard when you are grieving you are allowed to do anything you want. Ummm within reason. So, my anything has been to allow myself a short break throughout the day from my cyber fasting to visit with our heart family! I miss you. I miss my son but I miss you too! You have all shared with us every high and every low. You have laughed with us and cried with us. It feels weird not updating you all daily and I miss reading your comments and your joy that comes with each milestone we hit. Life without Owen here on earth is going to be much different. Pictures will be different and our journey will be different. But, I thank you heart family for not giving up on our lil’ family. We have a lot more to offer. Our story has just begun and something tells me that God has some big plans for lil’ our family that we are not going to be able to keep to ourselves.


My brother sent me a song earlier this week that I think is so fitting to describe two weeks without Owen. Please enjoy it! Hope it helps you find a word for what you are feeling too!