Be Still

Today we visited our specialist, Dr. Steiger. We used to call him Dr. Dread, as every time we would see him it’s bad news. He is an incredible doctor and so gentle and kind to us. It’s not his fault that he has to be the bearer of bad news every visit! But still we have given him that nickname and unfortunately, he’s earned it. It helps to add humor wherever we can.

Owen once again borderline passed his non-stress test. He has not been reaching his accelerations within the expected time period and after an hour they decided to call it and say he passed with an “ok”. We then met with the ultrasound tech for the growth scan. It was so wonderful to see Owen. It warms my heart every time we get to see his face. When the test was done the tech was concerned and needed us to meet with Dr. Steiger. We knew it wasn’t going to be good. Dr. Steiger told us that Owen has dropped to the 8th percentile for his growth. He has gained half a pound in the last 3 weeks and weighs approximately 3 lbs. Unfortunately, he should have gained much more. The doctor said its common for heart babies to be small but they would like to do all that they can to make sure that his growth does not fall further behind and he is big and strong for his surgery.

I was taken out of work today and put on modified bed rest. It was the last thing I expected when I woke up this morning. I have a very difficult time being still and am not looking forward to 5 weeks of laying on my left side and “taking it easy”. I know it’s the best thing for Owen and I will be plenty active once he is here. I have a sense of guilt relaxing when so much still needs to be done and others are working so hard. As I was wrapping up my files at work today I was overwhelmed and anxious. Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God” kept coming to mind and I know will be so comforting during this next phase in our journey. It helps me to feel peace and calm knowing that once again He has placed me exactly where I need to be. He is reminding me that in the stillness he is perfecting and growing his miracle just as he has planned. So, for now, it’s a stack of books I’ve been meaning to read, a wedding album I’ve been needing to make, a baby book I’ve been meaning to start, and lots of thank you cards to write for all the incredible generosity we’ve received.

We are so blessed to have Dr. Steiger and his phenomenal team at Desert Regional Medical Center keeping such a close eye on our little lion heart. Our ever talented medical family is growing and our next follow up appointment is April 11th at CHLA and Hollywood Presbyterian. We are looking forward to meeting the new team and hoping to see some growth out of Owen in the coming week!